While waiting for the train this morning…
While waiting for the train this morning, a relatively well-dressed homeless man sits down next to me and tells me that the trains are never on time. I agree and he laughs—he doesn’t seem that nuts. ”All the trains, A to Z are never on time!” he says to everyone standing around with a little bit of a whistle between the gaps in his teeth.
Then he begins to go through the alphabet, giving each letter of a train a title even if that letter doesn’t have a train. Oh, do you mean something like “The L train is the lazy train?” Here’s just a taste:
The A train, is the Always late train.
The B train, is the I’ll never Be on time train.
The C train, is the Cunt train. (laughs)
The D train, is the I’ll never get my Dick sucked on time train. (said with a gappy tooth whistle laugh as the women around smile)
The E train, is the Everyone will be late train.
The F train, is the how the Fuck can I keep a job if this train is never on time train.
…
The T train, is the Titty train. (he thought this one was very funny)
…
The V train, is the Vuuuuuuuronica I miss you train.
…
The Z train, is the I want to go to the Zoo train.
Then he repeats the T train and I couldn’t believe he got all the way through before the train arrives—I was close to being late for a meeting. On the train, a girl with gaudy jewelry and ‘oh, nuh-uh!’ long nails used primarily for scratching hoes got up to give him her seat. His eyes read as though he thought she road the T train, but gracefully.
